Fifty Shades

Just in case you're wondering, the picture that I used for the recent "Shish-Kabob" post was from the first 50 Shades of Grey film.

Dakota Johnson, the daughter of Miami Vice's Don Johnson, stars as a woman who enters into a kinky relationship with a wealthy man.

What's frustrating about this film was how they spent the better part of it just negotiating about what they're going to do during their fun time.

When they finally do get it on, the scene itself is so strangely "meh" that it almost does nothing for me (and I doubt that's really Dakota in some shots), but at least we got SOMETHING out of this. I disliked this movie so much I never bothered to watch the sequels.

My review of 50 Shades

Well, I saw it tonight. The myth, the legend, Fifty Shades of Grey, in where the question is asked: can a nice young girl find happiness with a psychopath who likes to tie her up? Dakota Johnson, the grown daughter of Miami Vice's Don Johnson, plays Anastasia Steele, a trembling young virginal wallflower who gets the attention of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), a billionaire who's into the kinky stuff.

Johnson is easily the best thing about this whole film. She has a pleasant, sweet quality that comes across very well. The movie itself is very silly; the bulk of the scenes consist of Ana playing 'will she or won't she?' with a guy who's got more money than God and wants her to be his playmate. There's even an extended scene where they're hashing out the terms of their relationship through a written contract.

The movie makers make the mistake of thinking people care more about the characters, when it was really the racy sex scenes that made the Grey books bestsellers. I found myself fast forwarding through a lot of the movie just to get to the good stuff. And the filmmakers, to their credit, don't hold back--Johnson has full frontal nudity in her scenes where she's tied up.

I haven't read the books, but I'm not fond of the movie's view that there's something wrong with people who like bondage and S&M (for one thing, many of us bondage fans, like me, just enjoy the bondage, not the S&M). The whole master/sub relationship between Ana and Grey has been sensationalized to amp up the drama; it should not be taken as an example of the lifestyle. Still, despite the overall silliness, the bondage scenes themselves are decent. No gags are involved; Johnson is blindfolded twice, and she's always naked. It's not a favorite movie of mine, but the scenes make it a keeper for me.